TRUE STORY; My Personal Encounter With A Mad Woman

This happened a few years ago and I thought I should share. Before this I had often wondered who impregnates mad women. Who are the men doing so? Who in their right mind sleeps with them? This encounter answered my question. Please read on.

After four days at the hospital where I had an Appendicitis operation, the doctors cleared me to go home. My mum wanted to go to the bus stop and get a taxi but I declined. After four days coupled up in the hospital bed I needed some fresh air and a bit of exercise.

We got to the bus stop and joined the rest of the passengers waiting for vehicles. A mad woman appeared. I have seen her a couple of times at the bus stop with other mad folks begging for money. She was tall and lean with a black torn short covering her womanhood and a yellow faded ankara thrown over her shoulder leaving her stomach and thighs bare. She moved from one passenger to the next begging for money. Finally, she stood before us,gave us a bewitching smile.

"Fine Mama and fine aunty, help me with some change" she said in Igbo.

I drew back to ward off the smell emanating from her unwashed body. My mother quickly opened her bag while holding her breath and brought out a 100 Naira note which she dropped on the mad woman's outstretched palm. She beamed her thanks and was about to go when a dread locked mad man on brown underwear walked up to her. She giggled like a school girl when she saw him. I glanced at my mother. She was watching them too. They struck a conversation in Igbo.

Mad man: Nne, kekwanu? How re u?
Mad woman: (giggles) I am fine. (Another giggle)
Mad man: Did I offend u?
Mad woman: Ah! Noooo!
Mad man: if I didn't offend you then why didn't you visit me like u said?
Mad woman: Okkkkkkk! (She scratched her hair then her buttocks)
Mad man: Is it that I didn't do it well the other time? Was it painful?
By then, my jaw dropped. Mama's jaw dropped even further.
Mad woman: (giggles) no, you did it well
Mad man: Then why didn't u come? Is not good oo
Mad woman: I will come today. Yes, today. I ll come. Today
The mad man grinned at her: Ok.

He turned and swaggered off, his member nodding between his legs. The mad woman ran towards a yellow bus discharging some passengers and began another round of begging.

My mother whispered. "Nne, please tell me that what I just saw and heard is all a dream"
I cleared my throat, plied open my numb lips and replied,
"No, Mama, it isn't a dream but I wish it is"
We still joke and laugh about it today.