The Wambui Factor : 7 Unique Things That KIKUYU Women Do That Make A Man Want To Marry Them. Whether He Likes It Or Not.

Over the weekend,two Kikuyu women,both of whom were uncannily named Wambui,got hitched to very famous - and fabulously wealthy- Kenyan men. Or men who work in Kenya,in the CEO's case.
In (very) quick succession,Bob Collymore,the President of Kenya's premier telecommunications giant,walked down the aisle after his very good friend and famous benefactor Daddy Owen had married his own sweetheart in a not-so-glitzy Church wedding.
The nuptials wouldn't go unnoticed. First,because it was a union between two famous names and secondly,because the women who were getting hitched to shared a name and soothing even more interesting - and unnecessarily controversial - a tribe.
The last time a woman named Wambui made news in Kenya,for being married to a VVIP,she stirred up a furious tornado in her wake,shaking the nation to its core and jarring everyone from their slumber.
I could be talking of Wambui Otieno,the indefatigable tigress who launched an epic battle with the Luo clan over her right to bury her husband,SM Otieno in her place of choice. Or Mary Wambui,the rambunctious Othaya human blitzkrieg who would storm events and announce her arrival - and unmistakable eminence - as the President's other wife.
Both were indomitable souls. And some very red-blooded social terrorists.

Two of Kenya's MOST INFAMOUS Wambuis. Both controversially married to prominent men.
And then we have another set of Wambuis. One scoops the King of Gospel Music. And the other sweeps the King of Data Bundles away. And Twitter can't cope. Neither can Facebook.
The fact that Bob and Daddy Owen chose to marry these KIKUYU Women has dominated the conversation all weekend. And even to this morning. And to further throw the spanner into the works,both brides happened to share a name. A not very holy Kikuyu name. Wambui.
Time for a non-ending Twitter sleaze fest.
But what makes a KIKUYU WOMAN find Love so easily? And have so much success at walking down the aisle? What makes the Kikuyu woman so marriageable? Despite the overwhelming negative publicity?

7 Reasons.
1. Her Seriousness 
Kikuyu Women don't approach relationships with the same cavalier attitude many other women approach it with. When she moves into one, she means business. I know that because I have seen that. On a personal level. Kikuyu girls rarely launch into a relationship with the intention of having her time wasted or to just watch the man play a sick game of romantic gerrymandering. She moves into a relationship with her sights set on the goal. And that's why they are so prone to killing the man when it eventually doesn't work out. She makes up her mind on day one. And sees the man as her hubby from the minute she sat with him at that first date. Either that or nothing.
2. No-nonsense 
In keeping up with her straightforwardness,the Kikuyu woman will appreciate if you don't joke too much. And don't bring along of games to the relationship. For starters,she already is thinking of having your kids. She's already mentally figuring out the sort of house you guys will move into soon. She's already asking you to move in with her by next weekend. She's already asking you why you can't move closer to where she stays because, 'Si Ngong ni mbari sana?'. She's figured this whole thing out. She knows she wants three kids with you. One dog. And no cat. Surely,there's very little room for play in this woman.
3. She can be VERY Unforgiving.
This girl won't let you walk over her and get away with it. In the Kikuyu world,every transgression committed in the relationship MUST be punished. And she has a bucket full of ways of meting out her villainous punishments. She doesn't let you off the hook that easy. You screw up,she screws you up. You cheat,she forgives, but ensures you've paid heavily. And also subtly reminds you that this may be the last time you are cheating on her. Your fear of her and fear of her punishments may deter you from screwing up further. And may force you,against your will, to marry her. Or face even harsher repercussions. She's been known to either kill you herself (by repeatedly stabbing you) or organize your murder. And even in your case,things will not be that different. She could be planning your funeral while you're busy planning her heartbreak. Very unforgiving woman,this one.
4. Hard Working 
This one cannot be gainsaid. The Kikuyu woman can work that butt off. And work it even harder. She'll be up before the dawn cracks. And will work herself all day,put herself through a grueling work regime,for you,for herself,for her family and for your future. You cannot let that go. She makes you wish you can marry her sooner. Only to do and not be as excited any more. Still,she continues working. Because, Kikuyu. She'll wash those clothes clean like some damn Russian washing machine. And tidy that house up so immaculately you want to pay her for it. When it comes to breaking a sweat,Miss Thang got you.
5. Independence 
Except for a few greedy and lazy ones in the lot,the Kikuyu woman can be fiercely independent. She won't act like she needs you. And won't look like she is into what you've got-despite the hype. She strives to get her own. And is fiercely proud of her little accomplishments. And very proud of the stuff she has in her house. All of which she bought herself. She will obviously need a rich man who can complement her strides already,but make no mistake, even without you,this woman will be making her own. And will keep hustling and hunting and scavenging. She came to win. She didn't come for no one's damn help. You eventually wanna marry her. And if you won't,she won't stress over it. She'll be gone from your ass. In the speed of light.
6. Parental Involvement
Even before you've clocked six months of dating,the Kikuyu woman has broached the topic of visiting the parents. She will coerce you into making that trip to her village and seeing her Mama. She'll convince you that there are mangoes and avocados that she needs from the village. And that you must take her. And that you must see her Daddy 'just for a hi'. The trip will quickly change from a simple mango-collecting rendezvous to a serious sit-down with both of her thoroughly-prepared parents who also invited six other old relatives who also brought along eight other older relatives and before you know it,your girlfriend is being auctioned off to you even before you can say 'The Grace'. Game over. You've met her parents. Whether you liked it or not. Try wiggling your way out of that confusion. And good luck. You need it.
7. Manipulative
This one pretty much sums up all of the other six points. If there's a woman who is an expert manipulator,it's the good old Kikuyu woman. She'll manipulate you into getting serious with her even when you didn't really have the intentions,she'll manipulate you into moving in with her against your will,she'll manipulate you into seeing her worth (even when she's as worthless as a whistle in a packed Parliament), she'll manipulate you into playing the game her way,steering the relationship in her speed and generally being a stooge for her. All the time. She'll make decisions for you and expect you to abide by them. And she'll cloud up your mind,congest it with her wild personality and blind you from seeing anything less lucrative than her. You'll have ultimately lost. And it will be too late. To move on.
She's the Kikuyu woman. Hate her or love her. There's NO escaping her. Man!